exuberant limpishness*

everythings strange...all the time.i lie in bed and look at the ceiling and think oh no, there's water leakage in the ceiling.as the dark shadow dances i realise it isnt water leakage...its flickering shadows from the small candles ive left to burn. maybe something will catch fire.....maybe it won't.lets wait and see.

i cant sleep. my lips are parched, my throat as dry as sandpaper.i feel like that sometimes at night. when i cant sleep.
i light up a cigarette and cough away at the unfamiliar brand.i flick the ashes at a broken candle holder. i miss. my light blue bed cover is stained with ash.i think of brushing it away.instead i rub it in.
who cares.

i want to get up for a drink of water. i turn over and try to dream.
i toss some more. no dreams tonight.
the clock is ticking...in my head. there are no batteries in the various clocks littered around the room.

sometimes in the day im full of life. sometimes i want to curl up and be left alone.
exuberant limpishness....a sad funny phrase for a sad funny me...





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